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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

It's Not All Fun and Games, Folks...

I've been working on a grant proposal (news flash, I actually do have a day job), and throughout this whole lengthy ordeal, I have CONSTANTLY been working to stay on message and reflect back upon the mission and goals of the institution I work for.   I have spent probably 30 hours working on this grant and hearing myself and others say words like "outcome," "message," "theme," or "I'm going to pee my pants if we don't take a break."

Not funny?  I'm not even sure I know what funny is anymore...

Anyways, all of this talk of message and theme has creeped into other areas of my life as well.   For example:
-I get frustrated when Snooki does not stay on message with her character on Jersey Shore
-I wonder what Matt's "goals" are when he leaves his dirty peanut butter spoons in the sink
-And I realize I've strayed from my message on this here blog.

Well, not really.

I'm still blogging about vegan cooking and what not, but as of late, I may or may not be editing out some of the disasters because I have been having more successes as of late (I'm giving myself a big ol' pat on the back over here).  But I have a sneaking suspicion that you fine readers only stop by to see me suffer (we all do it...I only read parenting blogs to remind myself why I'm not ready to have children), so I needn't neglect you of the pleasure anymore.

So here's a round up of a few failures:

This was supposed to be a wrap with veggies and rice.   It turned into a depressing salad with no flavor that made a mess of my office.

Here's Matt making the most bland/soggiest stir fry of our lives.   He wanted me to point out that he was a childhood model (including a childhood HAND model).   Unfortunately, if you look closely on his middle finger, you can see that his modeling career has been cut short (get it?) due to an accident when he was a Carnie is Australia (not even joking..I know...).

Not really sure what happened here.  Pretty sure we each almost chipped a tooth on this Mexican inspired casserole...

These were supposed to be "burgers."  Need I say more?  Yes, well, here is the finished product:

By the time I ate these for lunch, it was definitely just rice on bread.   What a disaster.

And finally, the ultimate disaster:

An attempt at Shells and Cheese that went HORRIBLY wrong.  It tasted like maple syrup and there wasn't even a DROP in there.  I actually got a little ill after eating this and think I may be swearing off nutritional yeast for awhile (BLASPHEMY, I KNOW!).

All of the above has encouraged this:

...only in larger glasses.

I kid, I kid.  Engine 2 says NO alcohol.  I cheat on the weekends though.  Teehee.

Anyways, I'm not going to post the recipes of these disasters because a) no one wants to recreate them; b) I don't want to make anyone look bad; and c) it's very likely I royally screwed something up and the recipe author should not be held accountable for that!

So, there you have it kids.   Things aren't all casseroles and pies in my kitchen.  In fact, what really happens is I make something disgusting, Matt and I force ourselves to eat it, then decide to store it like we do ALL leftovers and then it sits in the refrigerator.  Fermenting.  Waiting to attack when an unsuspecting victim thinks to check inside the tupperware.  And then BAM.  I'm dry heaving as I scrape it into the trash.

Thus is life.


1 comment:

  1. So funny, because it's so true.

    My husband likes a very wet stir-fry, a.k.a. soup. I do not. But I would totally eat that Mexican inspired casserole thing. Was it dry enough to send in the mail?


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